The Order of W.I.Z.A.R.D.S.
Wizards and Warriors and the oh so strange but alluring black magic- These are but a few of the wondrous and delightful subjects of this weeks latest sketch.
The Order of W.I.Z.A.R.D.S. is an elite grouping of the who’s who of charmers, conjurers, enchanters, mages, necromancers, sorcerers, voodoo-types, witches, warlocks, enchantresses, hags, hexers, sorceresses, warlocks, medicine men, foreseers, fortune-tellers, prognosticators, prophesiers, prophets, soothsayers, exorcists and wizards alike. After the fall of the great medieval kingdoms, the Order came together specifically as a way for like the minded individuals could union-ize. Like any group of people, they wanted to be sure to get the 401k, health insurance, and dental plans just like the rest of us. Before the Order, the Kingdoms, Empires, and other municipalities all took the work of their local mages and wizards for granted.
It wasn’t until a revolutionary pioneer for magicians’ rites stood up for what he believed in. His name was Sir Billiam Izzard. He worked in the royal court for many years and had earned a great deal of respect for his nightly performances. Sir Billiam had performed 12 straight years every night for the King during the dinner feast. Sure all he did was a little more than glorified card tricks, but he was quite the performer. That was until the royal accountant had convinced the King that in order to save some additional cubits on this year’s return that he should do away with the castle staff’s benefits. Sir Billiam wouldn’t have any of it. Sir Billiam refused to perform that night. And it was this action, this stand against authority that sparked a revolution among magicians round the world.
Sure ole Billiam Izzard was guillotined only moments after his refusal to perform, but he had made a statement that magicians had principles too. Word soon spread to everyone else in the field and so was born the Order of W.I.Z.A.R.D.S.
Sadly the Order was all but wiped out after the Order of W.I.Z.A.R.D.S. Convention in 1456. Apparently the story is that some young Wizard cast a tornado spell that effectively murdered the entirety of the population within the expo arena. But here their memory will live on with Sir Billiam and all the other late great Wizards of the world. Join us in the first of many P! Company tributes to wizards.
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RyanNuhfer said,
November 17, 2006 @ 3:22 am
Freakin sweet. Did they ever finish the circle?
Kyle said,
November 18, 2006 @ 11:17 am
I have one word for you…..
Three Hundred and Fifty-Nine Degrees.
Okay, it was five words, but they {the wizards} are as close as could be expected for their small minds from that prehistoric time of the Middle Ages. I mean it’s almost a circle, what more do you want.
The alternate ending for the sketch had to do with Merlin casting a spell invoking the moonbeam that caused famous dead mathematician, John Circle, to rise from his grave and teach the trio about the fun of geometry. He covered theorems and postulates, triangles and quadrangles, the basics of trigonometry and pre-cal, but just before he got to the little section on the circle and pi, the spell wore off and the poor mathematician’s remains fell to the floor as un-animated as he was six feet below.
So it ended on a sort of sour note, but we collectively feel that the crab ending is super positive and upbeat. I think that’s a message that I think we like to get across to our audience.
-Kyle
Anonymous said,
November 18, 2006 @ 6:47 pm
Rest in Peace, John Circle. Rest in peace.